i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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