So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
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You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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