I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My cat gives me a boner
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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