we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
