dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
