nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
