we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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