girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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