Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
