I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
