Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
