K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
