it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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