He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
