pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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