i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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