I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
40s are totally the cure
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
