you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize