I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize