me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
