"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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