I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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