what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
this will be a night to untag.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
