That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
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Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
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I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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