Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
