I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Sober January is a disaster.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
