Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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