If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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