Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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