The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
