You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
