lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
