It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
