So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
