Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Let's get the cat blown out
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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