Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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