He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
