need another drink. this is the easiest way
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
