at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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