Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
