don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
