He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
