I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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