My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
