drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
