So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
