We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize