So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize