dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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