I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
