hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
