ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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