I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
