Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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