There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My dick has a subreddit
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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