i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
