Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize