yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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