if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
