he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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