what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
